Random Thoughts on The City, Wall St & Capitalism

One of the headlines in today's Telegraph is that 'Plagiarism is rife at Oxford', according to the senior proctor who is also the chief disciplinary officer. It's brave of him to admit it, an anonymous student writes in another column that this is due to increased access to the internet.I'm presuming if plagiarism is rife at Oxford , the same is true of its evil twin, Cambridge. Presumably students there have internet access too. Plagiarism is as old as the hills and was there long before the internet. To be fair it's probably rife at most universities in the UK. If it's rife at the top of the educational hierarchy imagine what its like at the nasty second tier ersatz oxbridge-type universities that the English middle class are so fond of. My limited knowledge of what goes on in less exalted institutions suggests that cheating is certainly not discouraged as long as it's not blatant . Ho hum. What does all this have to do with capitalism or the City. Well three things.

Firstly under the market driven model of higher education, universities are just another provider of a consumable. That being the educational experience, the proof of which is the degree/diploma, whatever. They don't seem to have woken up to the idea that their products and brands are no differrent from cola or shampoo. Because they are selling 'ideas' ,the providers seem to confuse these with a higher purpose or ideal. Poor quality though UK degrees are sadly they are the only viable option in order to get the most menial of jobs now.Educational inflation is rife as well as plagiarism. Most people attending universities just want a job at the end,for in the age of the economic man there is no greater hope. If there are tools to make the acquiring of the product quicker and with more ease, does it not make sense to take those routes. If you could find a way to finance your mortgage at a cheaper provider today would you not take it.


Secondly at the posh end of the university market institutions like Oxbridge are there to supply tomorrows lawyers, accountants, venture capitalists etc. Plagiarism in once sense is the essence of these professions, it's an essential skill. For example consider the concept of stare decisis in English common law which students of law need to master, or when a drug has come to patent expiry how a generic provider comes on the scene, or even the recent case of patent infringement for Research In Motion provider of the ubiquitous BlackBerry. From personal experience I see Law and accountancy firms selling the same old structured product , going from bank to bank telling you that you are first one to have access to this 'unique' revenue enhancing scheme. Oh really. Pass the snake oil. Or ever involved an external advisor on structuring a delicate transaction only to find later some 'unscrupulous' (inevitably oxbridge educated) partner(s) at the firm are now 'flogging' your scheme to competitors , hardly changed except for the logo, as all their own idea. So you see in the vast majority of cases , a talent for plagiarism pays both in saving time and making money. God bless the market.


Thirdly consider also the usefulness of plagiarism in the world of work, when the time comes to take credit for a colleague's idea or the work of a junior. You need to be familiar with their work as if it was your own to pass it off successfully. Don't you. What about the great management fads from process re-engineering to Six Sigma. Last time I looked everyone was copying everyone else.This is called adopting 'best practice' in the business world, not plagiarism. This creates work and employment for a great many dull but hard working types. Work places tend to use the rhetoric of the new or the innovative but ideally want to stay stable by expecting the same core values of people. We need more plagiarists - fewer thinkers in the work place.Thinkers just cause trouble with their ideas and discontent in their colleagues. Could this process be streamlined? - yes - but why bother if even after screwing the customers everyone makes enough.

Finally, the high brow English universities tend to be skewed towards humanities. This is a very easy short cut to a degree.In the modern world arts degrees are basically a time wasting exercise, they are good to man nor beast. As most arts graduates know strictly speaking they should not be awarded degrees at all for subjects such as law or history or English literature. They should receive a certificate of attendance, if that.They are just exercises in recall and memory,rather like memorising a telephone directory and expecting to receive a degree for it. Except telephone numbers can be useful if you need them. Why not let these people pay for their 'degrees' and plagiarise. More revenue for the university and greater product sales. Pile'em high, sell 'em cheap. After all even after so-called tuition fees are taken into account. University education in the UK is basically very cheap to free compared with their other developed world counterparts. Namely the IV league. When is the last time you received something free or cheap and thought it was worthwhile or even valued it? If it's free I say buy one get another free( see below).Why does it matter if tomorrow's auditor or civil servant doesn't have an understanding of the three unities of Aristotle's Poetics. Or your boss doesn't quote Shakespeare to you as he's laying you off -


Well Bob I'm going to have to let you go, you're in a cross roads in your life, that reminds me of Measure for Measure, you know" Thou hast nor youth nor age, But, as it were, an after-dinner's sleep, Dreaming on both; for all thy blessed youth Becomes as aged, " Here's your redundancy cheque.

or the Doctor who brings the bad news, yes the tests show it's terminal , but look on the bright side you're going to die anyway,hah that reminds me of the old line from Epicurus, "It is possible to provide security against other ills, but as far as death is concerned, we men live in a city without walls". Take these twice a day. Here's my bill.

At this point dear reader you maybe thinking - what an awful piece. This kind of economic analysis is so reductive, the writer is a horrible philistine. But consider this. Although Professor Grafen has bravely denounced plagiarism, we must also examine his reasons. I'm only guessing, mind. I presume he disapproves of the fact that by plagiarising the average undergraduate at Oxford is only letting himself down. I suspect he finds it offensive and deceptive that any student should gain a degree without the requisite academic rigour and that it misrepresents the student's ability somehow, because it is in a sense unearned and worse still, shock horror, unmerited indeed unmeritocratic to obtain a qualification in this fashion. These are very noble and laudable objections.Ideals worthy of Chaucer's Clerk of Oxenford. Unfortunately prof, here's the problem. I'm sure dear reader you already know this, but if you are the holder of an BA degree from Oxbridge after a couple of years , the matriculation rules allow you to "convert" this to an MA for a nominal fee. This too is unearned, unmeritocratic and would fool the average man in the street and dumbos like me that holders of an MA would actually have sat for an exam or done some work.But guess what? no work required. I kid you not.It's for nothing, free, without strings.Hey who wouldn't want one. Guess what outside the narrow world of academia most people including recruiters don't realise it's a , dare I say it, a 'cheat' degree. Does Professor Grafen not consider this a problem?I know it's been going on at least 400 years, but a piss take is a piss take right? Does it have a place in the 21st Century? How do you justify it?

Oh dear prof. Cat's out of the bag now!!.You've opened a can of worms. See it's best not to bemoan modern ways unless you've already sorted out the problems of the ancien regime. So nobody cares and nobody is worse off due to plagiarism certainly for first and second degrees, These kids pay the tuition fees, and expect a product in return.Give it to them.

P.S
send me a degree in the post and I'll take the blog down.No questions, just an MA. Nothing fancy. Nah on second thoughts make it a DPhil, and top me up with a BCL. Go on , you know you want to.

RB