Random Thoughts on The City, Wall St & Capitalism

Maybe you should first learn how to spell prior to making such comments! Vodafone!
 

maybe you should have titled it 'Just idiots with Fones' .

obviously you got turned down for the job!
 

Did you not know that stock loan is quoted in bps not on a price basis? And since when has a BIG MAC cost 2.99?
 

numeracy and a grasp of the english language clearly aren't that important to contribute an article to the daily telegraph..you're obviously a very qualified individual to be writing such garbage and clearly know your market very well,bearing in mind you couldn't manage to spell the largest traded stock on the ftse correctly !
if you have a chip on your shoulder with regard to the amounts of cash that stock loan traders make for their clients and indeed themselves,it is maybe yourself who should be working in mc donalds as im convinced that your chip is a damn sight bigger than anything you can get in there at present,and im sure they would welcome you with open arms if you think you can get £2.99 for a big mac...so leave the failing hedgefund that you quite clearly work for,and either go back to school or try for your 5 star badge at an outlet near you.
 

You clearly "specialise" in generalisations. Referring to all stock loan individuals as order takers certainly demonstrates your profound lack of knowledge of the business. You are obviously not aware that there are a number of trading desks (and I mean trading) that take risk in terms of interest rate risk, position mismatch risk, dividend rate mismatches. It is similar in a number of ways to repo traders - or do these people not meet your criteria as traders either? Given the relatively small returns from stock loan transactions it would be a skewed risk/reward profile if the trading desks would take substantial risk. It is a low risk, low return business. Trying to squeeze other returns out of it would be inappropriate so I am not certain whether you don't understand this, or you are having an irrational rant.
You also have assumed that the people you borrow stock from are the actual beneficial owners - which they seldom are. In a clear-cut situation when borrowing the stock from the owners or their agents, I would agree the they are not traders, they are negotiators.
Are there desks/individuals that act in the way you have described? Certainly. I have worked at investments banks for over twenty years in three different countries, and I would happily give you similar descriptions of people in all parts of the banks. Was everyone that made money in CB arb in the 80's or a couple of years ago, an understated, unassuming genius?
If you've had a bad experience, don't apply it across the board. You must be dealing with odd firms or junior people if you think the business is run by ex UK settlements people. Try to expand your contact base.
If you are just an idiot who can't explain himself without expletives ... try talking about something where you have some expertise. This clearly isn't your area.
 

cityboy88888 your rambling while elucidating, really amounts to nothing more than a long winded diatribe. Are you a disgruntled trader who couldn't get a locate on a stock and was lacking any skill set to find the security elsewhere? They often say if it was easy everyone would do it. That why i always find it amusing when there are those attacking the S/L Desks, it's not because they have a real axe to grind, it's because they themselves are so inept that they have some need to vent their frustrations about their own short comings.
 

and the ops guys get cookies

"legend"
 

Stock loan traders may be stupid but it's still the fastest growing area in the whole of equities and everyone involved in the good firms are gonna get "paid in full" now go be a proper trader and execute a spread in a stock that your fund manager has told you to trade !!!
 

one word...Idiot.

obviously didn't get the job. Not happy with out bonuses and wages..tough! jog along like a good boy and try and make a market in the UK names you can spell
 

Porsches, fancy restaurants, strip bars, holiday homes...get involved Cityboy88888 and stop b1tching.

For more help try: www.howtobecomeastockloantrader.comwww.mcdonalds.com
 

I think you sound lovely, I don't mind that you can't spell. Do you fancy a date?... wait, I am a Stock Loan Trader, do you have a problem going out with women that earn more than you do?
 

Is this like a stock loan dating agency? Maybe they should get something like this running on the ISF website? Or speed dating at the ISLA Ball?
 

These guys are just a joke right? I mean think about what they are saying.. How would they arbitrage without stock loan? Surely you so called HF traders would need liquidity but hang on do we not provide liquidity in all markets? where do they go when there is an arb op in countries without the facility to borrow stock? Oh, i'm sorry we write them a performance swap.. Seriously, both you guys who think you know better than the actual "Equity Finance Traders" really have no idea what really happens or goes on! Let me clear this up once and for all. Stock Loan as you so candidly refer to as a piss easy job is actually built up over many different products which include, financing (incorporating Equities, Cash, G7, G10 debt etc), swaps covering CFD, Performance, Portfolio, Single stock TRS, Yield Enhancement, Guarantee term borrow vs options and the plain vanilla borrow and loan. You'll find these "traders" covering HF's all over the globe deal in all markets covering all derivative plays whilst providing liquidity to over 9,000 HF's. So really your point is what exactly??

Maybe you don't understand the true spreads in the business and the fact that these "Equity Finance Traders" are actually a lot brighter than you'll ever be; and by posting rubbish about how easy can it be to borrow and loan equity really shows everyone that you have no feel for the market and its true value. Maybe somebody will send you guys a 101 stock loan manual.
 

Jesus, this guy obviously hit a raw nerve with you no-hopers!

So pissed off you have to jump in and try and justify your existence.

"Got turned down for the job" - is that all you guys can manage?

Judging by the responses here, seems like you've all been waiting years for an outlet for your loss of self worth!

Grow up and trade some real products? Did you always want to be a stock loan trader?
 

"Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.."

Fact: 9/10 Hedge Fund order monkeys are glorified PM desk assistants who have zero fundamental abilities / knowledge; and wouldnt know a surface smile or a CFROIC from a belt in the mouth..

Fact: Stk Loan "traders" produce better risk adjusted rtns than 9.9/10 Hedge Fund "dealers" - do u guys understand risk / reward??

Fact: 9.99/10 Hedge Fund dealers would lose to their Stk Loan counterparts in a "Stk Loan v's Hedge Fund, Fight Nite"

So whos the chump??

Run along little boys go do a real mans job..
 

no hopers..you really must be some kind of tool.. i have alot of hope. most of it aimed in your direction and the hope that your death is slow and painful you jumped up ticket boy. ''do a mans job''. hows about you just become a man.
As pointed out kiddo, we are the fastest growing business in equities. Stick that in you pipe and smoke it.
 

And then there were three, jasus guys, you stooges are the best aren't you. Cityboy88888, Julius "Plebeian" Caesar and the last muppets "raw nerve" comments are just pure quality. Oh no , my mistake ,you guys appear to be as thick as a whale omlette. Let's clarify, if we're the burger flippers in Mc D's, then you three bandits are the floor sweepers who come in when the nights shifts over, let's say two hours late, are you seing a pattern forming ?Your analogy of most of the Investment banks most profitable and dare I say most dedicated desks is fine for comparison so long as you realise your wheel in this rather large cog. Coming on ( agressively ) for ridiculously large amounts of stock hours after the deal has broken may seem like your "twaaaaaddin" with the best of them , but in reality you're chasing the same deals we're chasing for our own funds and respected clients but you just aren't seeing any of the action. So let's look at why! .. Rather than tear a divide between respected Hedge funds , our own internal trading desks and the stockloan community, why not simply admit you're sore you don't get the service simply because you just aren't large enough or professional enough to command any respect. I've met two different types of funds during my time in this business and you're the minority who expect everything but have very little to nothing to offer in return. The law of averages is against you my tinpot fund friends and your time is limited, so go ahead and bitch and grown about a market that you clearly have no concept of but when you're all washed up and crawl back in your holes ( not those ones but I bet you could if you tried really hard ) we'll still be here same as we were 10 years ago supplying the liquidity and information flow to assist even the smallest , less favorable funds with scope to trade.
Those brushes you use to sweep the floors, there's only one fit place for storage, it's also an analogy..of sorts
 

I've been reading the various comments with great amusement. I'm in charge of Global Financing at a multi billion dollar hedge fund which obviously includes the nemesis stock loan. My belief is that these so called stock loan " traders " are worth their weight in gold. These guys try their utmost to protect your borrow against rerates, recalls in highly sensitive names, provide borrow in guarenteed tender or scrip names and they generally provide a value added service offering. But then we do pay them millions of dollars in fees every year. Good night.
 

Okay cityboy88888 I am sure you have had enough of the tirades of people in the so called "idiotic and moronic" postions of stock loan traders but I am hoping you have time for one more.
Do any of us claim to be discovering the cure for cancer or performing brain surgery on a daily basis? No we do not. Instead we come to work every day probably earlier than you might even be picking up your sweet little head from your pillow and we work in order to make sure people like you are supplied with the best rebates, stability and information on the liquidity of the securities you desire. Even when you feel you can treat us as second class citizens because apparantly maybe your Mommy told you that "you are the most important person in the whole wide world". We do not go around acting as if we didn't come to work that day the earth just might stop spinning on its axis. Instead the majority of us do our jobs, have a few laughs with colleagues that some consider and treat as close as family and go home feeling pretty good about themselves b/c we know we didn't have to put down random people just to make us feel more like a man. But hey if you have something lacking and this made you feel a lot better, I guess it was a lot cheaper than surgery. Well cityboy88888 best of luck in your career, happy holidays, and despite whatever some woman might have told you, it really is a big deal.
 

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. This article is quite comical. Cityboy8cock doesn't even understand the business nor does the other knob jobs that have responded mocking stock loan. And when did being a cash/equity trader become brain surgery? Hey Timmy hit this button here and buy me 1000 shares of COCK. Stop the insanity and if you want to know more about the business, give me a call and I will pick you up in my Porsche and discuss it over Kobe beef and Cristal......suckas!!!!!!!!! SL Rules!!!!!!!!
 

all you frustrated and angry stock loan "traders" seem to be missing the point it doesn't matter how much money you make or how important your job is to the world - YOU DON'T TAKE RISK, you don't have prop positions YOU ARE NOT TRADERS - my general rule of thumb as to how much of a wanker a SL person is is to look at their Bloomberg Header if they use the word trading or trader on it they are a wanker, no ifs no buts this rule works without exception for those SL (sorry Equity Finance haha)guys (and girls) I know - face it guys at best you are SALESMEN who escaped (just) the back office
 

totally agree with the original comment - there is no risk whatsoever in this role, what other market allows you to change your "price" after dealing?? eg:
day 1: "lend me $10m X", "ok done, borrow fee 20bps"
day 2: (news out on X) "sorry mate i am changing your fee to 200bps on your borrow today" WTF??!

yet these idiots still manage to lose money: failing trades, overborrows, corporate actions despite its simple status

as someone who has had the pleasure of having to deal with these simpletons, i can vouch most have massive chips on their shoulders of not being "back office"
in reality its just ops guys trying to act big: dim, (usually fat) ex-settlement clerks scraping enough cash for a 2nd hand 911!! you are pretend traders guys! why do you think most hedge funds classify equity finance as a loss making back office role?! go figure
 

hahaha "did you always want to be a stock loan trader" think that sums it up - answer would be in all cases "no but it was the only way out of the back office"
 

The last statement sums up the entire arguement. I wonder how many current SL traders are on headhunters lists looking for an opening into HF's or other front office roles AND how many strait equity traders / other front office professionals are lining up to become SL traders.....